Tips on Handling Criticism as a Caregiver


Being a family caregiver for a senior loved one is tough enough without hearing complaints about your efforts. You sacrifice your time and energy to help, so whether it comes from friends, family, or even your special senior, it hurts. If you’re a primary caregiver for an aging loved one, Calgary Home Care has five time-tested tips to help you manage others' criticism.

Evaluate Comments Objectively 


Criticism can feel personal regardless of the critic’s intent, but it's often meant to be constructive irrespective of how it sounds. Before getting defensive, take a deep breath and a step back, review what was said, and consider if the critique has merit.

Leave the Past Behind


Caring for someone you love is a very personal mission, but no relationship is perfect. Family dynamics easily color communication between siblings, and that can make criticism feel like rejection.

Emotional pain from disagreements long ago and extensions of other issues from the past tend to resurface in stressful situations, but it’s best to avoid seeing today's issues through yesterday’s lenses. Before assuming a critique is personal, give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Stand Your Ground 


When you’ve given someone’s opinion a fair shake, and their comments still prove empty or misguided, stand your ground. Diffuse comments by responding that you’ll consider them or merely thank them for their insight and move on. If criticism isn’t valid, there’s no reason to be defensive or argumentative.

See Behind the Criticism 


If negative comments come from close family, they may reflect issues beyond the tasks at hand. A brother or sister may be envious of the extra time you have to spend with Mom or Dad. They may feel guilty that they can’t help more, or like you, they may be grieving the impending loss of a loved one.

When the senior you’re caring for complains, it may reflect frustration over their loss of independence or worry that their needs are taking too much of your time. While there’s never an excuse for abusive behavior toward a caregiver, insight into the emotions behind the criticism can be a launching point for a meaningful discussion.

Be Honest 


If unreasonable criticism persists despite your best efforts to shut it down, be honest with the critic about how it makes you feel and ask them to withhold their thoughts until they’re ready to share their solutions. If comments were intended to be constructive, the resulting feedback could be enlightening. If it wasn’t, the issue might resolve itself.

The boundaries between personal and caregiving relationships are blurry and sometimes challenging to navigate, but in the face of criticism, being gracious helps avoid misunderstandings and opens the door for dialogue. As a caregiver, Home Care Calgary suggests that always remember you're doing your best, so be confident, stay positive and remain future-focused.

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